How to manage money is a topic that many couples struggle to get their heads around. It’s not really something you can deal with in isolation – it needs to be tackled as a team effort!
Statistics show that money is one of the biggest topics couples argue about. Whether you’ve recently found your life partner and are ready to walk down the aisle or you are already married, it’s highly recommended to discuss your money management strategy together and find some common ground in order to beat the statistics and not let money stress your beautiful relationship. Below are some money management for couples tips:
1. Talk about your money mindset
When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to feel like your partner’s money mindset is the only one that matters. But as we all know, that’s not true! A lot of people have a particular money mindset that they bring into the relationship.
For example, one person is a money hoarder, wanting to save every penny for a rainy day, while the other person is a spender.
If you want to make sure that your couple’s money management experience is positive and efficient, talk about your money mindset with your partner. Learn about how they grew up and what the money situation was like for them. Understanding where you both come from and why certain money management tactics are important to each other not only brings you closer but also gives you an opportunity to learn from each other, get out of your comfort zones a little, and create a system that is powerful for both of you.
The money hoarder learns to spend a little and have fun, while the spender learns to save a little and spend less. There is no sacrifice from either of you and no resentment.
2. Communicate about your current situation
Making financial decisions as a couple can be really tough. You have to be honest about your current situation. Since your finances are separated, you may be shocked to find out what your partner’s situation currently is. Or, you may be a little embarrassed to show all of your cards. This is a time for honesty. If you plan to combine your finances, then go all in and disclose everything. After all, you are committing to your partner for life, right? So, if one or both of you are in a financial hardship situation, what better time to work together to make a positive change in your lives?
Lay it all out on the table without judgment. That means no judgment to yourself or your partner. Remember, you are a team. Support each other, tackle it, and move forward!
- List all income and sources
- Details of all debts
- Discuss any credit issues
- Review all expenses – estimate what expenses may change when combined
- Has anyone loaned money to a friend or family member?
- Any future expenses to be aware of?
3. Discuss your financial goals
One of the most important parts of managing your money as a couple is creating goals that are meaningful to both of you.
Ideally, as a couple, you create common goals. This ensures that you reach them because you are motivated to achieve something together that you are both passionate about. Encourage one another and be each other’s, accountability partner.
Write down your goals individually and share them with each other. If you have different goals, it is a great opportunity to learn more about each other and find ways to weave them into the couple goals that feel good for both of you.
4. Assign roles
There are quite a few different tasks involved with money management. There is the overall review of the financial goals, but there are also the tasks of creating budgets, paying the bills, balancing the books, reconciling the bank statements, monitoring and adjusting budgets, and ensuring that the financial goals are being met. It may be useful to assign how these tasks are delegated. Below are a few things to consider. However, ultimately choose what works for you.
Assign tasks to manage money one person
Try assigning one person to take care of the tasks. Have regular “status meetings” so both of you are well informed. In our home, I handle all of the money management tasks. My husband and I regularly discuss where we are in relation to our goals, as well as anything that might be popping up that may require us to make changes to our plan.
Perform the tasks to manage money together
You may choose to handle the money management tasks together. Schedule “dates” for completing these tasks. Although we don’t do it this way in my home, I personally think this is a good place to start for new couples. Both of you understand the process, you are completely on the same page, you decide if changes are required on the spot, and it’s something that you are doing together. An added benefit is that, if for some reason, one of you is unavailable to do the tasks for the month, the other one can handle it.
How to manage money for couples summary
Money does not need to be a stressor in your relationship. Communicate with your partner. Remember that you cannot change the money mindset of each other, but you can learn to accept, embrace, give and take a little so that you can create a money management system that works for you and not against you. Now, discuss your dreams and have fun on your journey of life together.
If you are looking for some budgeting tools, I found this article that lists some budgeting apps that may be useful. I have not tried these apps, but you may find them worthwhile.